2012 Mini Coupe S

Price: Far to much.  But then again, it IS a Mini
Power: Plenty for its size
Sex Appeal: If you have the hots for teenagers with backward hats, then you are in luck!!!

If you want a Mini, you want a Mini.  I learned this when my sister bought her Mini Cooper S.  You throw out all reason, any sense of frugality, and plenty of better options for the sake of driving, and owning, a Mini.  Don't get me wrong, Mini makes a great car.  It is fast, economical, and pretty sexy looking (usually).  However, I only see there are two justifications for buying a Mini: 1) You REALLY FREAKIN want one, or 2) You have more money than you know what to do with.

On paper, buying a Mini is ok, until you look at the options list.  What should be a 25K car ends up costing well over 30K at any dealer because of the very few options they tack on.  This is a product of being owned by BMW, who LOVES to lure you in with a base price then hits you with several "packages" that add close to 10K for the base price.

I've driven several Minis before and I've always enjoyed the experience, so I have no doubt that this car will go like stink and handle well to boot.  I just don't see the reason for spending a bunch of money on a teenager witha  backwards hat.  I wish I could say I came up with that analogy but unfortunately Mini already has that honor.  Yes, ladies and gentlemen, Mini itself thinks it looks like a cool kid with a backwards hat.  Lord help the future of all cars.

My only exposure to this car was sitting in this car at the San Diego Car show.  It looks and feels just like a Mini.  It has more blind spots than normal and absolutely NO trunk space so I really don't see the point.  Get a regular Mini Cooper S.  Same price but is slightly, and I mean slightly, more usable.  Otherwise, I would wait for the convertible version of the Coupe which I know will show up sometime.  But even then, it will still be a 30+ thousand dollar mini competitor.  But then again, if you like Mini......

2011 Mini Countryman - Alert! Identity Crisis!

Price: Decent, mostly because there are not any options on it that can turn it into anything snazzy.
Power: Gutless.  And more gutless.
Sex Appeal: Not sure who would find this sexy.  Its too small to carry a family or any cargo.  It is too big to be cute.  My theory is that only dumpy people who can't make up their mind and have no creativity will buy this.

When I first heard that Mini was making an "SUV," I was aghast.  How could they?  Why would a brand defined by its cute, pint sized cars make anything larger than a matchbox?  The answer lies in motorsport. More specifically, the world rally championship.

History lesson time! What brought Mini to prominence back in the 1960's wasn't its fuel economy.  It wasn't even its cuteness factor.  Mini DOMINATED rally racing.  Even though the original Mini Cooper had about as much power as your average lawn mower, it was so small and light that it could go over dirt roads faster and with more agility than any other car.  Over the years companies like Audi, Subaru, and Mitsubishi got in the game and with the invention of all wheel drive cars, the Mini dropped out of the public eye.  Back in 2002 BMW decided to bring it back.  However, the Mini Cooper and later the Mini Clubman were both just cars.  Motorsport is very specific about engine size, length of wheelbase, etc ad nauseum.

Mini wanted to get back into the sport which defined its origin so it made a car that could compete: the Mini Countryman.  But why, you may ask, did Mini bring this car to the streets where it is a rolling contradiction?  Two reasons really.  First is that they probably though it would be a hot selling item (not really to be explained later, and secondly there is a funny little rule about motorsport which dictates that all race cars must have an on road equivalent.  That is why Toyota's NASCAR car looks like a Camry, and why the monstrous Subaru STI and Mitsubishi Evo exist.

As a car, this thing has issues.  It is too big to be called a Mini and too small to be an SUV.  The picture deceives.  This is not a big car.  I've sat in it and I felt extremely cramped.  The drivers seat is ok but the back seats have just enough knee room for a double amputee.  There is also only two seats in the back. Instead of having a middle seat, there is this weird little bar that goes from the front of the car to the back where there is places to put cup holders and random doo dads.

My biggest problem is that Mini is very lazy. They built a bigger car, but refused to do anything else.  The engine options for this 4000 pound beast are the same as the regular Mini cooper.  So while you have more space, your ability to move that space remains at gutless and slightly more than gutless.  If you have ever driven the turbo Mini Cooper, you would probably agree that it has just enough power.  Having that same motor in a way heavier car is just stupid.  It means you will be driving down the freeway and look to your left and you will see a bicycle rider passing you.

Visually it is not that bad.  The grill looks like a moustache and the body is a tad bulbous, but otherwise it looks like a regular Mini Cooper that found the cookie jar.  What really bothers me though is that half of what makes Mini so attractive (the infinite amounts of decals, paint combinations, stripes etc), is missing from this car.  It comes in boring colors, the Roof is always black, and there are almost no cool visual accouterments that can be put on this thing.  In short, its boring.  Hardly worthy of the Mini brand logo(which was supersized to look normal on the hood of this car, just fyi).